


Get Your Fur Out of My Face

by SilentRabbitEars



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura and Coran are mentioned in passing, Galra!Keith, Gen, Grooming, Keith sheds like crazy, Lance has good personal grooming habits, M/M, lance pov
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-14
Updated: 2017-09-06
Packaged: 2018-10-05 03:41:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10296680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilentRabbitEars/pseuds/SilentRabbitEars
Summary: The thing is, Lance thought Keith was kind of disgustingbeforethey knew that he had Galra blood. He didn’t just start thinking it afterwards. And he would like that to be acknowledged, thank you very much. He’salwaysthought Keith has been gross, right from the first moment he saw him speeding to the rescue on his floaty-scooter thing like some kind of gallivanting action hero.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I can’t tell you how disappointed I was when I actually watched Voltron and Keith didn’t turn into a fluffy, purple cat-man. So clearly, I, as so many of us, have turned to fanfic to rectify this tragedy. Complete hand-waving on how exactly Keith does turn into Galra. I had started an explanation that involved Haggar’s magic lightning, the self-discovery memory flashback, and hormones/adrenaline. But then I remembered I don’t need an explanation! Amazing. Love it. 
> 
> So just read this with the assumptions that Keith occasionally just looks like a Galra, and can maybe get stuck that way, mkay?

The thing is, Lance thought Keith was kind of disgusting _before_ they knew that he had Galra blood. He didn’t just start thinking it afterwards. And he would like that to be acknowledged, thank you very much. He’s _always_ thought Keith has been gross, right from the first moment he saw him speeding to the rescue on his floaty-scooter thing like some kind of gallivanting action hero. Dis-gus-ting.

But that didn’t change that fact that when Keith was exhibiting the more, well, … fluffy side of his genetics, he was more disgusting. Somehow, the sweat and filth they all accrued in the course of _saving the universe_ (Lance is probably never going to be over that, honestly) looks infinitely worse clumping up Keith’s fur and now-violet mullet than it does on everyone else. Well, all of them could get pretty nasty, especially Pidge’s hair. But even when Keith was just plain ole Human-Keith, his hair was still the grossest. And his eyebrows. Talk about needing some grooming. And his little Galra-ears were not the cleanest either, okay? Lance was pretty sure that the ear hair was constantly waxy in addition to the occasionally dose of sweat and dirt. And it wasn’t that Keith didn’t bathe. He just didn’t bathe _well_. And Lance got it, okay? He remembered puberty and the sudden excess of hair. It took a while to get use to. But Keith’s hair was just. So gross. 

And now Keith’s hair was everywhere. Everywhere on his body (Lance was assuming here, okay? He hadn’t really had the opportunity to check.) and _everywhere in the castle_. Little tufts of purple hair, just floating around. Allura had mistaken a particularly large clump as one of her mice the other day, and Hunk had taken to just grimacing slightly when he found purple fluff in his concoctions. Coran had attacked the fluff with admirable enthusiasm, but it still persisted. Persisted _everywhere_. Honestly, they were in a little bit in awe of the cleaning system that Galra ships must have. As he had pulled a layer of purple hair off one of the vents, Shiro had noted wryly that if one part-time Galra could produce this much hair, he never wanted to know how much a whole ship of actual Galra would shed. Keith had flushed deeply at the word “shed” and Hunk had sworn that his lips had gotten a little wobbly and his eyes watery, and had insisted that no one mention it again. Lance called bullshit (Keith with a wobbly lip? Yeah right.), but Hunk overruled him.

“It’s a clearly a sensitive subject, guys. We can deal with a little hair. It’s not that big of an issue,” he had said, looking around at them all imploringly. They were gathered in the dining room, minus Coran and Allura, with Keith probably off sulking in his piles of fluff.

“You’re right. It really isn’t that big of a deal. After all, it’s really not that worse than when I had long hair. That got everywhere too!” Pidge chuckled. “There was this one time I didn’t clean the shower drain for like two weeks and Matt thought the hairball I ended up pulling out was a rat.” They got a distant look in their eye and their smile became a bit faded for a moment. Shiro gave Pidge a gentle look, and Lance felt the urge to pat them in a sort of comforting way, but they visibly pulled themself back before he could demonstrate his emotional awareness. “Anyways, we should stop making such a mountain out of a molehill.” 

Lance’s vague feeling of compassion vanished and he huffed. “It’s funny you should say that, because we can literally make A MOUNTAIN out of the amount of hair Keith’s shedding—” Hunk cleared his throat pointedly “—giving off, whatever. And it’s gross hair too. I mean, look at this—” Lance dragged his hand across the back of the chair cushion, came up with a handful of greasy purple fuzz, and promptly shoved it into Hunk’s face.

Hunk started hacking, and Shiro snapped “Lance!” and leveled an unfairly accurate disappointed-parent-face at him, while Pidge snickered and then gently placed a different clump on Shiro’s head. 

“I’m just saying, it’s probably not hygienic to have all this floating around! It’s making Hunk cough!” Lance gesticulated wildly, stirring up the hair even more.

Shiro’s look of disappointment took on a more aggravated tone. “It’s making Hunk cough because you shoved it in his face! It would have been fine if it had stayed on the chair.” The purple clump on his head wobbled slightly and Pidge bit their lip to stop themself from laughing again. Hunk spit out some hairs and glared at Lance. 

“Not cool, man.” Hunk grimaced and tried to scrape some more hair off his tongue. Lance and Pidge both lost their fight against laughter and even Shiro looked a little amused. Score.

Then Hunk shoved a handful of hair in Lance’s face and tried to shove more down his shirt. Lance screeched (in a very manly way, mind you), and that was the end of any conversation. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you have cats? Those lil fuckers shed like crazy, even the short-hairs. Trust me, you need to brush 'em pretty frequently if you don't want to suffocate under a pile of cat hair.


	2. Chapter 2

The upshot of it all was that everyone seemed to agree to not mention the copious amounts of hair to Keith or complain in his hearing. Pidge had clued Coran in, and as Allura really wasn’t talking to Keith (which, a little harsh, but whatever), she was hardly likely to start with a complaint about his fluff. And everyone did their best to clean, but it just… didn’t really work? It got a little better, but there was still hair everywhere. Disgusting hair, Lance corrected himself as he examined a clump that appeared to be held together by the sheer amount of oil and dandruff coating the hairs. But he held his tongue. After all, he wasn’t a totally jerk. If Hunk thought Keith was sensitive about this, then he could be a gentleman about it. He could respect Keith’s feelings. He was polite and, like, chivalrous and shit. 

It wasn’t easy though. 

The lions also had purple hair all over them. Lance knew for a fact that Keith hadn’t been in Blue, yet there were little purple dust bunnies collecting in the corners. During a few training exercises, Lance spent them feeling itchy and irritated. Afterwards, when he got out of his suit, he found Keith’s purple hairs stuck to his skin. He shook his suit out and showered each time, but it seemed like there was always more. Once, one of the clumps of purple fuzz got stuck to his helmet visor and he couldn’t get it off. The static kept it clinging no matter how hard he tried to wipe it off. And then when he looked in the mirror, there were bits of purple fluff in his hair. His beautiful, perfect hair had been invaded by Keith’s gross hair. Lance felt a bit like crying. 

* * *

Coran and Pidge rigged up a Roomba-esque machine that whirred around and sucked up the hair in an attempt to keep the castle cleaner. It didn’t really work. The hair kept clogging up the gears. 

Allura kept pressing her lips together thinner and thinner every time she saw some purple hair, and Lance was worried that her forehead would become permanently wrinkled, she was scrunching it so much. But she didn’t say anything. Just looked angrier and angrier. Lance guessed it wasn’t easy to be constantly presented with tragic, purple, fuzzy reminders that a member of the race of aliens that had straight up destroyed your family, your people, and your planet was just chilling in your magic castle-ship and fighting in your magic lion and forming Voltron. Hunk said Allura just needed time and he was probably right. But at the same time, Shiro, imprisoned-and-tortured-by-Galra-Shiro, didn’t seem to have any particular problem with Keith. As a matter of fact, Lance thought sourly, Shiro seemed to have the opposite of a problem with Keith. As far as Lance could tell, Shiro really, really liked and respected Keith. A lot. Which. Whatever. They could be besties and, like, braid Keith’s ugly mop hair and Shiro’s bang-things, Lance didn’t care. Even if Shiro might need to wear gloves. Because Keith’s hair was so gross. Whatever. 

* * *

What was Keith’s room even like, if the rest of the castle was like this, Lance idly wondered as he watched Shiro and Keith tussle on the floor in the training room, occasionally sending puffs of purple hair up in the air. Keith was human-looking right now! He hadn’t fuzzed out in days! Where was the fur coming from? Lance gave Keith a dirty look just as Shiro pinned him to the ground. Keith mumbled something and Shiro laughed, rolled off him, and sat up. Keith grinned, sat up too, and pushed some of his mullet out of his face. His _gross_ mullet out of his _sweaty_ face. Lance scowled harder and felt his eyes go a bit squinty. 

Shiro stood up and stretched, and then nudged at Keith with his foot. Keith waved him off, still smiling, from his spot on the floor. Shiro, still chuckling slightly, left the room with a wave towards Lance. Keith rubbed at his neck and then apparently noticed Lance frowning at him because his smile became a smirk. 

“What’s wrong with you?” Keith said as he stood up, his black tank top, wet with sweat, sticking to his unfairly muscle-y body, and his mullet flopping about. He strutted over to where Lance was standing. There were some purple hairs stuck to his collarbones. Lance’s eyes kept catching on it. “Constipated from all that green goo?” 

Lance felt his eye twitch. “I’m not constipated! I just think you look all gross, with all your sweat and fuzz.” Keith frowned and took another step closer. 

“My fuzz?” 

Fuck. Lance resisted the urge to step back. “Yeah, that mop on your head you call a hairstyle. That’s just messy, man. And, like, gross and sweaty and just…gross!” 

Keith flushed slightly and raised an eyebrow, obviously impressed with Lance’s wit. “Yeah, well, just because most people don’t want to spend hours—” 

“It’s not hours! It’s just –” 

“ _Hours_ on their beauty routine, doesn’t necessarily mean that they have gross hair. Maybe they just have regular hair. And of course I’m sweating after exercising. Most people who actually workout hard break a little sweat. We can’t all _glow_ like you do.” 

As Lance watched Keith gripe at him, Keith’s skin slowly streaked a light purple and his ears went from perfectly normal human ears to giant Galra ears. (Well, Lance guessed Keith’s Galra ears were _technically_ perfectly normal too. They didn’t seem any larger than the other Galras’ ears.) A layer of short fuzz spread over Keith’s body, following the purple skin, and his black hair turned violet. The rest of him was more of a lavender, or maybe a periwinkle…Lance was distracted from trying to figure out the exact shade of Keith’s fur when he realized that the Galra equivalent of a blush was apparently a slightly darker shade of purple and the tiny hairs _standing up_. He’s puffing out like an angry cat, Lance thought distantly, trying to reconcile the adorableness of that and the ears with the sheer grossness of Keith. Then Keith made an aggravated noise and scratched his arm. Little tufts of purple hair floated off. 

“Are you doing this just to annoy me more?” Lance says incredulously, feeling his jaw tighten slightly. 

“What? No!” snapped Keith. “I can’t help it. This just happens! And what do you mean ‘to annoy you _more_ ’?” 

Lance ignored Keith’s question and said, “Nothing ‘just happens’! There’s got to be a reason you turn into a fluffy, purple—” Lance waved his arm to try and encompass Keith’s being, then gave up “—person and shed everywhere!” Lance watched as Keith’s jaw worked furiously and his ears twitched for a few seconds. And then he realized with horror that Hunk had been right. Keith’s eyes were suspiciously watery and his lips were getting slightly wobbly. Keith was gonna cry. ‘ _I_ made Keith cry,’ Lance thought faintly. ‘Hunk is gonna kill me. Shiro is gonna kill me. Allura might high-five me though.’ Oddly enough, that didn’t make him feel any better. 

“Fuck off!” Keith finally spit out. He looked furious and also like he was about to burst into tears. Lance opened his mouth, but he had no idea what to say. Keith pressed his lips together tightly and sharply turned on his heel and strode toward the door. 

Lance just stood there and watched Keith’s back as he stormed out of the room. Keith might have been shaking a little, like he was trying to hold back sobs. Lance felt even worse and also a bit like he did when Pidge mentioned their dad and Matt and then looked sad or when Hunk got a bit mopey about the lack of delicious ingredients or missing Earth. It was like he wanted to pat Keith comfortingly, or maybe give him a hug or a cuddle or something. 

Which was gross. So gross because Keith was covered in sweat and purple fur and probably snot now because _Lance made him cry_ and he would be so disgusting with his stupid hair and stupid, adorable ears and just. Gross. But now Lance felt horrible just thinking that. 

That fucker, thought Lance as he stood alone in the training room and stared blankly at the door. Making Lance feel guilty for being rightly annoyed by his excessive hair. And Keith’s general disgusting-ness. And his stupid, gross mullet. Lance felt his cheeks heat a little. And maybe he was kind of jealous of Keith and Shiro’s friendship. That was… maybe a little shitty. Just a little. Whatever. 

Lance would make it up to Keith. He would never mention the crying. Ever. And Lance was gonna be the nicest possible friend to Keith from now on. He was gonna be _so nice_. He was gonna find that boy and give him a fucking bath and brush his stupid hair and then hug him, and then Keith would be less of a sensitive dick about everything. And Lance wouldn’t have to constantly feel this weird feeling he got in his stomach every time he saw Keith. Problem fucking solved. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler alert! That feeling isn’t disgust! It’s a crush! Silly Lance! 
> 
> And a fun fact! When an animal has their hair stand up, it’s called piloerection! Which was almost the title of this fic, but I decided against it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the lovely comments!!! Y’all are so nice! It’s always so encouraging to know that people are enjoying the story, especially when I’ve a bit of writer’s block. I am sorry for the long wait, but summers are always pretty rough for me and not a lot of writing gets done. Not a lot of anything gets done, in all honesty :D Updates should be a lil quicker once autumn (and that sweet, sweet cool weather!) hits. Also, this chapter is a bit short, short enough I debated waiting for Chapter 4 to be done to post together, but then I realized how long it had actually been since I updated. Whoops! 
> 
> Also: For those of you just joining, this fic is set in some nebulous period between episodes in the later half of season 2. Anyways, hope you enjoy!

Lance did not immediately find Keith and force him into a bath, but it was a close call. But he had _matured_. He knew things now, things about emotions and feelings. And these things were telling him that confronting Keith head on and dunking him into some sudsy water would probably not make the situation better. The direct approach was not the way to go. He had to come at the situation indirectly. Have some finesse. Be suave about it. Easy-peasy. 

* * *

“Hey, Keith, check out this cool, new brush I got the replicators to make! Wanna give it a try?” 

“I’ve already got a comb.” 

* * *

“I really think this conditioner is possibly the best I’ve made so far! My hair feels like _silk_. Wanna try some on your fu– hair?” 

“I’ve got soap.” 

“Ooohh, can I try some?” 

Lance sighed. “Sure, Pidge. Here you go.” 

* * *

“Hey guys! You know what I think would be a really cool experience for like, bonding?” 

Shiro didn’t even look up from his console. “What.” 

“We could take a giant bubble bath together! Dump some bubble mix in the pool, light some candles, get some smooth jazz going, really get to know each other –” 

Keith twitched. Hunk looked a bit dubious. Pidge looked a little nauseous. Coran looked intrigued. Allura was expressionless. 

“No,” Shiro said flatly. 

“What’s jazz?” asked Coran. 

* * *

“Okay, just hear me out – what if _before_ we put Keith in the healing pod, we just get a brush and –” 

“Lance, he’s bleeding!” screeched Hunk. 

Lance glanced down at Keith. He wasn’t bleeding _that much_. And he was covered in his purple fur. This was a pretty good opportunity, alright? And he had his Galra ears too. Lance reached out and stroked his finger down the outside of one of Keith’s ears and through a bit of his mullet. Little tufts of purple came off in his fingers. Keith was _so soft_. And his ears were _so thin_ and _so delicate_ and — 

“Put him in the pod,” Shiro barked. 

Lance put Keith in the pod. 

* * *

“Hey Keith!” 

Keith turned around and looked warily down the hall at Lance. He still looked _so gross_. Lance suppressed a shiver. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. _Fuck_. Lance cleared his throat awkwardly. Keith raised an eyebrow. 

“Hey, man, you wanna come hang with me for a little bit?” Lance managed to get out. Why was he so bad at this? He could have sworn he was better at talking to people. “We can just chill, you know, relax and unwind, maybe braid each other’s hair, do facials –” 

The moment the words were out of his mouth, Lance felt his cheeks heat up. _God_ , that sounded stupid. So stupid. And now he was blushing like middle-schooler asking his crush out for ice cream. Which was a _stupid_ comparison, what was he even thinking, oh my god – 

Keith’s mouth had gone flat, and then he was biting his lip just ever so slightly, and an amused look came over his face. Lance suspected Keith was trying not to laugh. He felt…weird. Just weird. Keith _should_ laugh more. Lance wanted him to be happier, that was the point of this whole bath attempt, but… Lance didn’t want him laughing at him, unless of course Lance was _trying_ to make him laugh, which he did sometimes, but maybe—

. “No thanks.” Keith’s eyes still looked amused, but his voice was gentle. “I think I’m good. We both need some sleep.” Lance felt a little disappointed. “But, hey, maybe we can braid each other’s hair some other time. Although yours might be a little too short.” 

Keith smirked and went into his room. Lance watched the door slide shut bleakly. It was probably better Keith had said no. Lance was not in fighting form. No way he would have been able to actually finesse Keith into a bath. 

* * *

Okay, so fuck the indirect approach. Lance clearly wasn’t quite as smooth as he thought he was. Although… he really did usually get better results one-on-one, getting a little personal. He could do it. He just needed a better strategy. And what was it people say? Honesty’s the best policy? Right? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Multiple times when I was trying to write this chapter, my very shed-happy cat decided she wanted nothing more than to crawl in my lap and up my chest and rub herself all over my face. There was hair in my nose and stuck to my glasses and it somehow got in my mouth. In a way, my cat was the inspiration for this story. (And you can also blame her for this chapter taking so long because she kept DISTRACTING ME! lol)


End file.
